Just · that · crazy · gal

Crap, it's been 42 weeks since I updated?!?  Oh holy ganja...  Well, to start, I forgot my password!!!  But is ok now.  I reset it.  And I have internet access again!!!  Well, kinda, I gotta go to my ex-boyfriends house.  Don't think I've ever written about him...  His name is Richie and we were together for almost five whole months, which is a big deal for me.  However, the bastard broke up with me exactly one week before our five month mark.  That was back in early November.  We've had some ups and downs since then.  A couple of months before we broke up, I ordered some candles from one of my drivers for his kids school fundraiser.  I had bought a few for me, but, knowing that Richie's favorite smell is cucmber melon, I bought him one, thinking to give it to him for Christmas, maybe.  That didn't really work out, though.  Two days after he broke up with me, I had to close 'hachie.  I went up to RO to give Maddie (a.k.a. my bay bay) a pack of cigs and found out that the candles had finally came in.  Richie and I were on speaking terms.  See, the day after he broke up with me, I had to open RO and spent probably 90% of the day crying.  My new GM, Christy, who I had worked with in Ennis when she was just a MIT, really helped me through the rest of the day.  It was a bad day, to say the least, and what made it worse was when I got home, I snapped at Brooke, who just wanted to see my hedgehog.  As usual.  When my mom mentioned my snappiness, I told her she would be upset if she had just been broken up with.  Then I collapsed on the floor, crying.  Natuarlly, my problems were put on hold until the show mama and daddy were watching went to commercial.  The next morning, when I work up, I like to think that I subconciously swore never to cry over him again.  I had planned a few weeks before to go up to NTB, where Richie works, and get some work done on my car.  I think it was an oil change, but whatever.  I did really good and didn't start crying when I saw him, though my eyes got a little wet.  I had text him before I went up there to see if it was busy or not, so he wasn't suprised to see me.  I had brought a book to read, but Richie sat and talked with me whenever he had a free moment.  We ended up going to luch together.  It was nice, to think that everything was normal, if just for a few minutes.  So, anyway, on my only day off, I got a call from the boss man to close 'hachie.  I considered keeping the candle for myself, as I like cucumber melon as well.  In the end, I texted him and told him that I had something for him, and that I was closing in 'hachie, if he wanted to come by and get it.  He didn't text me back for about thrity minutes, so I texted him again and said something about ignoring me, I forget what.  He calls me, like, two minutes later and says he only got the second message.  Long story slightly shorter, he came up to the store and I got the candle out of my car, leaving one of the CSRs in charge.  Of course, I did the whole, pick a hand, thing.  He got it wrong all three times, and I didn't even switch hands!!!  In the end, I gave him the candle and explained the situation with it, how I was going to keep it, but I had bought it for him, and so he got it.  Suprise of all suprises.  He started crying.  I'd never seen him cry before and I have since then.  When asked why, he simply stated that he missed me.  We hugged for a good five minutes, me telling him it was gonna be ok.  Odd twist in reality, with him crying instead of me.  Just before he leaves, he asked me to come over after I get off so we can talk.  I missed someone laying in the bed with me and having someone to kiss and hug, so I agreed.  About an hour before we closed, he texts me and tells me that he's really tired, can we postpone until the next day?  Sure, why not, I'm over there every Friday anyway, as it's Maddie's boyfriends house, Richie had just moved in as his new roomie.  When I got off, I texted him to let him know I was on my way home, as I have a bad habit of letting people know where I am and where I'm going.  Imagine my suprise when he answered me promptly, instead a little later.  We texted back and forth while I drove (I know, dangerous!).  It was odd for him to quickly reply, but I blew it off.  I was tired, for fuck sake.  So, the next day, Maddie and I gathered what we would need for the night and headed over to the house.  Finding Nemo was our movie for the evening.  Richie was chilling in the living room with us.  After a bit, he went to his room and Maddie said she was cool with me going and talking to him in the middle of our movie night.  So I went to his room, streched out beside him on the bed, on my stomach, watching his face.  He started talking and, long story slightly shorter, confirmed the rumors I had heard all that day at work.  He slept with another girl, a seventeen year old.  The same girl that was rumored to have put breaking up thoughts in his head.  I beleive what she said was something along the lines of 'Aren't you tired of fighting with her all the time?'  What really pissed me off was that Joe said that Richie had told him he was breaking up with me a few hours before I knew.  Of course, Joe got drunk and told some other people, which meant that half of Dominos knew before I did.  The day after he left me, my supervisor (a.k.a. boss man) had called RO to talk to me about my transfering.  When asked if I was ok, I natually said yes.  He called me out on that lie.  Told me that he knew Richie and I were no longer together and if ever I need someone to talk to, I could go to him.  That completely changed the way I saw William Lloyd.  That moment, he went from an evil little hobbit to an ok guy.  Back to the main line.  He had a hard time coming out with all of this, so I told him to just confirm the rumors.  I'm not a moron, I knew what was what.  After he came out with it, he explained that, though he got what he wanted from her, it wasn't the same.  The 'emotional connection' that we had wasn't there and he realized then how much I meant to him.  Claiming something like, I was in his heart, he just couldn't find me.  He needed time to find me.  Afterwards, I went back into the living room with my bay bay to finish our movie.  Richie joined us not long after.  I was really tired and complained about not wanting to drive twenty minutes back home.  Maddie told me to just stay, but I didn't want to sleep on the couch and said as much.  Maddie left the room for a minute and Richie tells me that I know I don't have to sleep on the couch.  I look him straight in the eye and tell him, thanks, but I don't want to do something I'll regret in the morning.  He didn't reply.  After the movie, Richie went back to his room.  I turned to look in that direction just as he turned to go into his room.  Maddie informs me that he had been just standing there, staring back at us.  So, I decide to stay and after Joe got to the house and the couple went off to party, I laid down.  Of course, I ended up in Richie's bed, torn between what my body wanted and what my head was warning me off.  Naturally, my body won out in the end and got what it wanted.  It was horrible, I started crying right in the middle of it and ended up telling him that I thought I loved him, that's why I couldn't get him out of my head.  To shorten this a bit more, we decided to just hang out for awhile and see where it went from there.  I began to stay with him on the weekends and sometimes during the week.  A few weeks later, I forget how we got on the conversation, but he ends up telling me that he was never sexually attracted to me, that he faked the attraction.  Well, my face was well enough, it's just that my body was/is too fat.  This has the effect of crushing my already low ego.  The next night, we and a friend of his indulged in a little drug abuse.  When Richie wasn't around, Shawn and I would talk.  Towards the end of the night, it became more about some of the stuff Richie had told him in regards to our relationship.  Shit I had guessed but was unsure about.  He also made me feel good about myself, telling me that I was beautiful.  Richie had to be at work an hour before Shawn, so the two of us were left alone for a bit.  Not ten minutes after he left, Richie calls me and asks if Shawn was still there.  Well, yea, but he says he's leaving soon.  We hang up.  Shawn and I talk some more.  About thrity minutes later, Richie calls again.  Is Shawn there?  Shawn and I agreed that if he was to call and ask again, the story was that Shawn had left about five minutes after he called the first time.  I had to ask, why do you care if Shawn is here or not?  You've made it known that you don't want me, not in that way.  Grouch, grouch.  Whatever, quit bugging.  Shawn left and I was left to fend for myself for a bit.  I had to go to work, still high with crystal, so away I went.  Shawn had started texting me pretty much the second he left, so I was talking to him.  Of course, he pulled that juvenile stunt of, hey, my cock is huge!  He didn't say it like that, but you get the picture.  So I'm at work, now texting both boys and becoming really stressed.  That's what can turn a trip into a bad trip.  I became ansty and irritable.  Christy came by to get a pizza, (I was now transfered to Midlo) and I ended up ranting to her about some of the shit that had happened the past few hours.  I also passed my bad trip off as taking to much No Doze, as I've heard it can make you paranoid.  She helps me calm down a bit and suggests that I talk to Aaron, my new GM.  I was kinda wary, since I've known Christy longer.  The day before, I was going to the bank to deposit my check and couldn't get the image of Richie and that girl fucking out of my head.  I started crying again and text Christy, telling her that I needed a hug.  So she sent me a hug via text.  I told her that I needed a real hug and that I was going to be in town soon.  Could I stop by the store?  And so I did after I went to the bank.  As soon as she saw me, tears still in my eyes, she rushed over and held me.  I told her what new developments had gone down and she sat me down in the office and we had a nice long talk.  For probably about two hours.  So, you see, Christy knew almost everything and I had yet to mention anything to Aaron.  It's not something that just pops up in conversation, you know.  So, since he was closing that night, I decided to go ahead and talk to him.  I must have smoked half a pack that day, trying to deal with the stress.  When he got there, I asked Aaron if we could talk in private.  We went into the office and closed the door and I told him almost everything.  It was easier with Christy, because I was still very angry and full of energy.  When Aaron and I talked, I broke down and started to cry slightly.  Aaron really helped me that day.  He gave me advice, which I knew I wasn't going to follow.  He was coming out of a simular relationship and told me what I needed to hear, but didn't want to listen to.  The best part was that all I would have to do is ask him, tell me I'm pretty?  He would look me straight in the eye and tell me, you are beautiful.  It made me feel better.  I can usually tell when someone is lying, but when he looked me in the eye and told me that, time and time again, it was a great feeling.  He still stands up for me when I say something about me being ugly.  Who told you that, he says.  Everybody does, I reply.  Well, those arn't people you need to be around.  No body actually says I'm ugly, I just really feel that way sometimes, mostly when I'm depressed.  I know, though, that if I was to ask Aaron right now, he would look me in the eye and tell me I'm beautiful.  Well, a few days later, I'm back at Joe's, wanting to talk to Maddie, I think.  Well, her and Joe are both asleep on the bed and Maddie's friend Matt, who I liked a lot, a real nice guy, was just chilling in the living room.  So I sat and talked to him for a bit and when Richie came in from work, Matt mentioned that he had heard our relationship was a bit rocky right then.  I told him a very condensed version of what was going on.  He looked right at me and told me that I was not ugly, he thought I was pretty.  Matt is not the kind of guy who would just say something like that to be nice.  And I knew that and it made me feel a bit better about myself.  Later, I asked Matt to rub my back (he's a professional massuse) because all the stress was building up in my back, making it hurt.  He went deep, fast, but it was still good and I felt a little better afterwards.  A few more weeks pass and, once again, I forget what happened, but one night, after I had been hanging with Maddie and went home, Richie and I are texting back and forth.  Laying in my bed, I get a message from Richie telling me that he loved me and he only said what he did because he was trying to push me away because he was scared, he never felt this way before, blah blah blah.  I had been forwarding some of the more interesting messages to Aaron.  When i saw that, I freaked.  I had gotten tired of his playing games with me and had already decided to cut my losses and just be friends.  I sent Richie a message back saying I didn't know what to say to that, and could we please talk in the morning?  Aaron simply says I told you so.  No help there!!!  So now I've got to deal with this by myself.  And I have no experiance in this department.  To end this, I'll just say that I asked Richie to do just one thing for me.  He swore to stop, but I caught him several times and Maddie was telling times when she knew what he was doing.  Finally, I got tired of it and told him that I was tired of his lies and I never wanted to speak with him again.  That was a couple of weeks ago.  Then I got back into my habit and, when he found out, called me a hypocrite.  I ended up having to explain to him that I didn't stop talking to him because of what he was doing, but because he constantly lied, and you know how much I hate liars.  So now we're talking again, for me, it's only as friends.  Hell, I was trying to do the whole, friend with benefits thing, but I think he wants more.  He's gotten back into his old habit of calling just to talk and often trying to get me to come over.  I'm holding him off pretty well, I think.  Aaron thinks differently.  He asked how it was going and said something about a relationship.  I denied and he throws back, have you two had sex?  Not lately, is the reply.  Everyone has made it known that if I take him back, I'm in some deep shit with them.  Honestly, I don't want to get back with him, it's just too much drama.

Now, you maybe wondering about Maddie (though I doubt it).  Maddie is the ex-girlfriend of a guy I used to hang out with.  One who she was badly in love with, but he treated her like shit, emotionally.  She hated my fucking guts at first, when I started working in RO.  She got fired before I actually transfered, so I really didn't see her much.  A couple of months later, Brandon got fired and Maddie came back to work at Dominos not long after.  As a driver, I didn't see her much, but once I got promoted to MIT, we were working side by side.  And we came to realize that we had a lot in common and she stopped hating me.  We started hanging out on Friday nights and now it's become a weekly tradition, so I never make other plans for Friday nights.  You would have never thought it, the two of us friends.  Not after how much she hated me.  I never had a problem with her, I didn't know her that well.  Sometimes I wonder how we ever made it without each other.  I started teaching her to drive in my car.  Yes, my baby, the 2007 Honda Civic.  I know, I thnk I've lost my mind.  She does well, but still freaks out a bit.  Usually when I'm freaking out.  Not too long ago, driving up to the RO store to help a pained Joe close, Maddie is driving.  We are stopped at a red light and who should pull up next to us but the po.'  And just after I lit the two of us cigs.  The light goes green and she slowly accelerates.  The damn cop stays pretty much even with us.  Maddie quickly switches hers to the hand on the gear shift and tells me to take it, which I do.  Pop off the cherry outside so I can have the rest for later.  We quickly decide that, should we be pulled over, our story is that we are sisters.  Hell, we have the same last name.  If asked, I'm just teaching my little sister to drive and get some practice before she gets her license.  I'm really hoping we don't get pulled over.  We are riding very dirty and I would fucking die if we got pulled over.  Luckily, the cop eventually gets ahead of us and we can breathe easier.  It was so much fun, though.  We tend to do some pretty weird/crazy things when left to our own devices.  We have a whole picture montage of us on my MySpace.  And she got a really long paragraph in my Farewell to 2007, Hello to 2008 blog.  That's not what it's called, just a shorter version of the name.  She has become my main focus, being single and all.  I jokingly tell people we got married last Monday (1-21).  Honestly, sometimes it does feel like I'm married to her.  I love her, though, so that makes up for it.

Um, let's see, anything else new happen?  Well, you should have guessed by now that I've been transfered again.  First Ennis to Red Oak.  Now Midlotian.  It kinda sucks, because it's, like, thirty-five to forty mintues from my house.  Lots of gas money.  Um, well, that's about it.  Ta for now, my loverlies!!!

How am I feeling?:

drained

Ok, be critical...

Where in the hell am I at?:	My tia's casa
How am I feeling?:	creative
What am I listening too?:	Green Day Basket Case

I hearby disclaim that the photo's of celebrity's on this site do not belong to me.  They belong to the peoples who own them.  Please do not sue my broke ass.

rofl

How am I feeling?:	crazy
What am I listening too?:	Wow, I can get sexual too by Say Anything